Today has been inspiring. Gradually I find myself getting there. One sad story after the other gets flung into my past and each day God's Glory, Grace and Power, shows up on my behalf.
Like the typical story of Joshua in the Book of Zechariah, I am 'a brand plucked out of the fire'.
Something strange happened especially today, though. My boss' friend, who is also somewhat my boss did something strange.
Usually having the mien and disposition of the strong silent type, apart from the occasional good natured laughter he shared with us, I had watched as this man gradually unravelled under the unction of the Holy Spirit.
Over the last week or two, I have watched this man minister to me and allow himself to be tremendously used of God in answering certain questions he did not even know I had asked. Daily over the last couple of weeks, he opened up, discussed, laughed, just spoke and I was constantly being ministered to. Totally unaware of what he was doing but definitely doing the work of his Father, I got pushed, encouraged, warned, rebuked and so on.
Then, yesterday... I don't even know exactly what I did. I remember pottering around my office; putting things in order, arranging my boss' stuff. Yes, I had gone to the bank to make a deposit for Mr. A. I had given him, his deposit slip, his small change along with some flyers I had left in the envelope which I had hoped would be useful for me somehow- they weren't.
Mr. A had made some small joke about banks ripping us off and keeping us bound with enticing loan offers and he had stepped out.
I saw him stay outside a bit, talk to a neighbor staff, balk a little. I went about my business, still pottering...
And like a sudden bolt he was back at the door. I looked up and he dropped the bombshell...
'You have a good heart', he said.
He couldn't have stunned me more if he'd hit me over the head with a sledgehammer.
I stuttered, I sputtered, I was speechless... And if you knew me in my heydays you'd know that was a rare occurrence and even now, as I struggle to walk in the Spirit and not be caught with the words of my mouth by the enemy, it is still easier to catch me slipping into verbosity than stunned silence... Or even stuttering. Lol.
Mr. A turned. Apparently, whatever missile he was supposed to send had hit its mark and I was left with the rubble.
First was the thought, 'Where did that come from?'. Then discomfort the entire day. For someone who was not afraid to talk and talk loud especially back in the day, I don't really recall a time I ever took compliments well; talk even less of compliments that had to do with spiritual virtue or strength. I preferred they remained unspoken. Speaking of them distracts me faster than a curveball at a car on breakneck speed... Usually with potentially more dangerous consequences, I am more fearful of experiencing rather than having actually experienced.
I become self conscious as compliments tend to make me uncomfortable- especially spiritual ones. I'm wishing Mr. A hadn't voiced that particular one. Suddenly I felt stifled. 'Holy Spirit', I kept pleading inside myself. Then it came to me- I was to take that compliment as one directed at God, not me. I was to give glory to God for it and despite the fact that I wanted to crawl under a rock because of it, I realised that it was not about me at all. I had been given a mandate by heaven - to shine in darkness (Isaiah 61:1), to be a salt of the earth and a light (Matthew 5:13-14). If somehow God was recommending me before man, the least I can do is thankfully and gracefully receive same. Not as an endorsement of my perfection but as a tribute to the Ever Living God in whom (I) live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28).
Far from naturally or humanly perfect, I will take the Grace that God has given to me and clothe myself in the warmth of His Righteousness (Romans 3:21-22). Not because I am perfect, but because He is. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Come, Lord Jesus(Revelation 22:20)
