An enemy that comes closer than a friend.... (1)

How did Eve get caught? By opening her mouth (and heart) to Satan!

The devil is still using the same old tactics today- different packaging, different vessels, different time but the same old tactics.

I had a ‘friend’ recently who wouldn’t budge. Despite my better judgments, instincts to the contrary and countless warnings I refused to let this person go, cut them off.

Of course, the fact that they said all the nice things didn’t help. I had issues big time! I was reactionary, zealous sans knowledge, idealistic without the slightest clue on how to go about life and emotional to the extreme- yeah, the complete mix for volatility- unstable, actually.

The worst part of it was I had a conscience to go with it. Not just a conscience but an extremely gentle (weak?) one. I would bleed within for every misdemeanor for days on end. I would cry for actions I deemed (deemed, being the key word here) callous. I would vow never to repeat it again- until the next time. It was killing me! I was self-destructing it seemed.

In a relationship, the love I had to offer was toxic and the relationship abusive at best, it seemed (seemed, again being the key word).

Then I chose this person because they seemed to understand me; to let down my defenses with, to trust, to open up to (definitely, cursed is the man that trusts in the arm of flesh! Jer. 17:5) I had spent hours on end for days on end talking to this person that they knew exactly what to do with me- and it wasn’t nice.

While I killed myself for my reactions to signs I should simply have walked away from, I also endeared this person to myself with the mindset that they were the only friend I had. They understood me- knew the worst and still cared (I thought!). Guard your heart with all diligence (Prov. 4:23) was a scripture that stayed in the bible and not in my life, apparently.

By the time I realized that the only reason this person stuck around was because I was vulnerable, gullible and extremely easy to manipulate I was well gone. My own sense of guilt was the exact ‘tar’ needed to keep me forever indebted to them instead of walking away from insidious manipulations, looking for a way to sort myself out, finding the source of this strange behavior and be free. They stuck close- closer than any friend, for their own agenda and desires while I beat myself over the head for my nasty behavior.

It turned out I needed healing- in areas far more reaching than I cared to know. The devil had insidiously woven himself into my mind but when God was ready to set me free, one false slip was all it took. There had been more than enough false slips before… But this time it was time.

To be continued...